53 Days To Go

53 Days to go.

My dancer-friends came down to the studio last Saturday. 

Apart from being models/experimental subjects to my fiance's lighting equipments, we also had a chance to talk about my wedding.

Like usual, the girls started to yap at me for not giving out instructions.

And that I appear to be less interested about my own wedding.

Believe me. I am.

Except I am more interested in my own marriage than a wedding.

I cant wait to be married to my fiance, and that we are going for honeymoon and make honeymoon baby and lotsa lotsa beautiful babies after that.

And after all that is done.

I'm going to get back in shape.

Make a lot of money in between.

And become a good mother and a wife to my kids and husband.

So compared to a wedding, nah. I look forward to my marriage.

I look forward to our kids first day of school, our 30th anniversary, our kids wedding, then grandchildren. I look forward to helping my husband to the toilet, wait for him at the clinic, preparing his high blood pressure pills. You know.

Not that I'm wishing for it.

But I look forward to those times where things that shouted elder might happen.

I look forward to growing old with my husband.

So yes. My wedding shoes are somewhere in the plastic kept at home, my wedding dress is in the rack in my studio, my wedding arrangements are all made through phone calls, and I'm not a fussy bride who is so fussy about a wedding theme, lightings and decorations. 

Despite all that.

Im very excited about my wedding.

All I need to do is;-

1. Look for my bridesmaid dresses (the last one I bought is out of theme. It was supposed to be a garden wedding.) This is easy.

2. My solemnization dress. Easy too.

3. My traditional dress. Very easy.

4. Catering & canopy for home. Hah. Too bloody easy.

5. Confirm li..

Okay. I just made a phone call to confirm my lighting at number 5. Totally forgot about that!

And number..

6. To confirm...

Ok. I forgot to confirm my stage deco.

7. 

You know what?

I dont need to do this now.

I mean.

Its still 53 days away.

I still have time.

Right?

Gotta get back to work.

xx

Personal Goals

Im at my centre, waiting for my clients. I got about 13mins to blog about things that ive found in my old wallet.

Its a wishlist.

Personal goals.

That i wrote years ago.

There are others, from 2008, listed till 2020.

Anyway, some of these are what I should achieve in 2012 - 2014.

Probably this is written when I was 19 or 20 years old.

And I have already planned out that I want to be engaged at 25 years old.

Thats funny.

Because I never take anyone seriously back then.

The studio is still empty by the way.

Last night, only 4 people came to my class.

I cant expect much this week.

Hopefully, next week everyone will be over their holiday mood.

Or I will be out of business in no time.

Speaking of which, I was roaming around with my fiance in Ranau Town last Saturday. We identified many potential of opening new business there. 

Well first, there's one place for a cool hangout, and we noticed the cyber cafe is always full, the restaurants are static with little of special menu, and the shops are mostly hardware and mini markets.

Anyway,

I'm going to do a small project(from the government) this month, I'm still waiting for the letter of confirmation.

Then with little profit out of it, I was thinking of franchising my studio there.

So what I'm gonna do now is to find 6 people and train them to run a studio. 1 at my studio, 3 trainers in my future studio, and 2 at the centre. 

Easier said then done.

At least the idea is there.

But if this works, we (Fiance and I) may have to sacrifice our weekend in Kiulu to go back to Ranau.

I better outline my project.

Till then.

Rant before bed.

I was sleepy.

Now I'm pretty awake.

Attached is a simple coupon I did for the sponsor item.

Wanted to do more, but I rather save energy for next tasks.

Now that my boyfriend, oops, fiance is awake.

I'm going to have him proof-read my articles for a magazine.

The story is, a month ago, a lady I know from school approached me with this idea of fitness magazine.

At first, I only wanted to contribute with the articles but then like usual, I got excited and carried away.

So, we started doing everything from the scratch together.

What I do is simple, to pitch idea here and there and she (amazingly) make it work.

She's a year older than me, and have the sweetest smile, sweetest voice, sweetest look ever.

I'm basically done for tonight. 

Ive replied emails.

Replied all the congratulate messages (I still dont understand what is so special about this engagement)

So now its time for me to take a shower.

I look tired and my hair still has its hairspray scent on it.

Alright.
Till then.

My first day raya.

Okay.

Im blogging straight from my phone because I left my laptop at my grandpapas home. I left home a while ago because I couldnt stand being around people that is truly hard to please.

So here I am.

At a hotel room.

Wrapped in a towel with no clean clothes.

Silly me.

I should have packed at least clothes and my laptop, at least I can work in my confortable clothes. Which reminds me, I was asked to sponsor an event, in a way to promote my centre of course. I havent done that yet.

Now my siblings are all calling me.

I dont really care.

It hurts a little when my grandpapa call me. I know how much he loves me. He told me this morning, im his favorite. He love me more than anything in this world. And I appreciate that.

Anyway.

Im not that childish.

I texted my sis that Im fine.

I just want everyone to stop calling me. I just want everyone to stop worrying about me.

I got into a huge fight with my mom. Its not that I dont respect her but she doesnt respect my decision. She kept on questioning me about my decisions. I understand that she wants the best of me, but this is what I have decided. This is the kind of memory I want to remember.

What we fought about? 

My wedding reception.

So she started yelling at me. Saying that I only want to involve my inlaws. She also believe that I think shes selling me. Come on. My dowry is XXk. What i believe in is that im priceless. You cant consider that as selling. 

Its too complicated and too annoying. So i left the house. 

To be honest. I dont wish to involve everyone in everything. Maybe thats my fault. Anyway, I really dont care. I just wanna be alone for tonight and maybe tomorrow night. I just wish they stopped treating me like a kid. 

Till then.

Crazy bitchy days. I'm getting engaged for god sake!

I've been going through bitchy days lately. Oh my, here I am starting to get bitchy.
I promised to myself that I had enough of childish expression.
But this one is hopeless.

So my mom has been sending me all this crazy texts.
Initially I thought because she just want to pick a fight. Probably someone else is pissing her off so its normal that I get to be a punching bag since I know how to handle my feelings pretty well. I'm excited most of the time but pretty calm when it comes to handling problems.

Then when it gets bigger, I tried to understand her and look from her perspective. She was angry at how I handle my business and I thought, alright, thats normal. She's a businesswoman and its normal that she doesnt want her daughter to make mistakes.

I justified myself.

That didnt go well either.
I got another text yesterday and thats where I exploded because she's starting to pressure me. I mean, I had enough on my plates and I dont need anything else.

Then I begin to wonder, what if this is not about the business.
Then it occur to my mind.
What if this is about her first and youngest daughter getting engaged, yet not being kept in the look.

How could I be so stupid!

I sent her a long text explaining that I didn't mean to offend her and that I'm a little distracted with my business as well. So, although I really want to be excited on my engagement day but I need to remind myself that I have a business to take care of.

She should understand.
She's a businesswoman too.

I did say mean things to her though. Before I (right before) realized that this is about my engagement day.

"I did everything on my own. I didn't even ask for help, not for my engagement, not for my work, basically not for anything. So the least that you all could do is to spare me some grief and let me live without pressure. Stop getting angry at me!"

When all that she wants actually me asking for a little help.

Anyway, I have a plan.
I'm getting engaged this Sunday.
So what I'm gonna do is to buy gifts for my boyfriend.
Although its against our tradition (and so last minute)

And have my family wrapped them.
That should give me a few free days of crazy phone calls.

I'm going out with them in an hour.
The wound is finally patched, thank god.
So, I should do some listing of what needed to buy.

I hate this.
Till then.

Night Outing at Oyster Bar.

I went out Last Sunday for a little night outing with my clients and to my surprise, its really fun. We booked the VIP room in Oyster Bar, sing a couple of songs but at the end we just turned on the music and started dancing like nobody’s business.

Everytime I go out, people (friends who happened to be there) kept on asking me whats going on inside the room, why is it so happening, introduce me to the girls, yada yada.

I went back around 6am, and you could guess, I got into trouble with my boyfriend for that but its all worth it. Not that I don’t admit it was my mistake but I just don’t regret about it.

Went for a little chat with my girls, (parked my car in waterfront, so I thought I could enjoy night breeze next to the sea and with my girls)

I’ll be sure to be a good girl next time.

 Anyway, these are some pictures from that night.

Quarter Century pt.2

I went to my parents house for dinner.

It was okay.

I just hate the part where my sister sang a birthday song and my brothers wanted to shake my hand.

Like usual, slapped them away.

I just wish people would stop wishing me.

Its not an achievement.

Just a year older.

Then I went to the gym with my friend and my sister.

Initially, I just want to do the squats but they insists working out the arms.

Now who’s the birthday girl?

I ran for 5 minutes,

Cycled for another 5.

3 reps of biceps, triceps, and back.

After Stella went to pick up her husband, my sister and I continue with yoga asana. 

Its quite foolish.

I mean doing it at the gym.

Im planning to start Yoga again.

I stopped last time because I was pissed with my body.

I love inverted poses so much, and I was making progress until my neck and shoulder decided to get stiffed.

I know.

I’m only a massage away.

Hm. We’ll see.

Anyway.

After gym, I went to pick up my birthday cake (Mr. Boyfriend bought me one although I told him many times that its unnecessary.)

Continued my work at home and realizing its almost 12, blew up my candles (oh god) made a wish (to have more money obviously) and continue my work.

Im going to shower in a bit(I know its bad!) and sleep.

Got a full day seminar tomorrow.

Then I’m going to the studio,

Final touch up at night.

Printing on Friday and ready to hit the road the very next day.

A very good night.

And.

Bye.